KENDALL'S
ADULT
SHOWER

1986

ON MAY 6, 1986, THE WORLD WAS BLESSED.

1990

MY BROTHER NICK AND I WERE WRESTLING AND I BIT HIM IN THE KNEE, LEAVING A SCAR THAT STILL EXISTS TO THIS DAY.

1992

I WORE MY FIRST DENIM-ON-DENIM ENSEMBLE, UNKNOWINGLY SOFT LAUNCHING THE GAYNESS WITHIN.

1994

I BRIEFLY BECAME AN EQUESTRIAN. NOT A HORSE GIRL. AN EQUESTRIAN.THIS ONE TIME, A HORSE NAMED PETE THREW ME OFF OF HIM DURING A HORSE SHOW. MY DAD JUMPED IN THE RING AND PICKED ME UP WHILE PETE WAS RUNNIN' AND BUCKIN' AROUND AND THEN I WOKE UP IN THE BACK OF THE JEEP AND WAS LIKE, "CAN WE GO TO THE CARNIVAL?"AFTER CONFIRMING I HAD A CONCUSSION, WE DID GO TO THE CARNIVAL AND I DID RIDE THE SPINNING TEACUPS WITH MY FRIEND CLAIRE HENDERSON. OOPS!

2004

I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL! I MOVED TO CHICAGO! I PIERCED MY EYEBROW AND WORE MORE DENIM-ON-DENIM!THERE WAS AN UNFORTUNATE COWBOY HAT PHASE.

2005-2014

IDK CHECK MY FACEBOOK IT'S PROBABLY ALL THERE

2015

I STARTED WORKING AT ACUITY SCHEDULING AND MET SOME OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE :)))

2020

I ADOPTED A PUPPY (WALTER, DON'T TALK TO ME OR MY SON) AND SIGNED A LEASE FOR AN APARTMENT I HAD NEVER SEEN AND MOVED TO NEW ORLEANS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PANDEMIC!

2022

LEARNED HOW TO DJ AND THREW MY FIRST NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL QUEER DANCE PARTY AT TWELVE MILE LIMIT!

2023

I QUIT MY JOB IN TECH TO BECOME A FULL-TIME DJ & EVENT PRODUCER!

2024

I SHAVED MY HEAD AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY, 5 OUT OF 5 DENTISTS AGREED THAT THIS WAS THE CORRECT CHOICE!ALSO I WAS VOTED THE #2 LOCAL DJ IN NEW ORLEANS!

2025

MY DAD DIED, MY CAT DIED, I GOT SKIN CANCER!I ALSO THREW A BIG QUEER MASS WEDDING AND WAS VOTED THE #3 LOCAL DJ IN NEW ORLEANS!

2026

SPIRIT AIRLINES WAS SHUT DOWN AND I LOST MY GOLD STATUS.I DROPPED AN ALBUM! BUY IT ON BANDCAMP SO I GET MONEY OR CHECK IT OUT ON YOUR STREAMING PLATFORM OF CHOICE STARTING MAY 6!

IN SHORT, IT HAS BEEN A PRETTY COOL 40 YEARS!

OTHER THINGS WORTH NOTING: MY TWO NEPHEWS (BRODY AND RUSSELL!) AND MY TWO DOGS (WALTER AND WILLOW!) ARE MY FOUR BEST FRIENDS! I GOT THE SKIN CANCER CUT OUT OF ME! I STILL LOVE NEW YORK STYLE PIZZA AND WILL FIGHT YOU OVER IT! I THINK IT WOULD BE REALLY, REALLY FUNNY TO RUN FOR MAYOR ONE DAY!

HEY, THANKS FOR BEING IN MY LIFE!

XOXO,
KENDALL (AN ADULT)